Going Off Of The Rails On A Crazy Train

BACK IT OFF BACK OFF THE THROTTLE

OH GOD SHUT OFF STEAM WHAT ARE YOU DOING

STOP YOU'RE GOING TO BREAK SOMETHING ALREADY

JUST GREAT NOW YOU'VE GONE AND DONE IT

THEY'RE NOT FOOL ENOUGH TO LET THIS HAPPEN IN THE COLONIES UNLIKE YOU

Oh. I stand corrected. 

All The Other Kids With The Pumped Up Kicks

I want to talk about the end of an era. Not anything that's been on the news, but something I do want to remember. It's this pair of shoes.

Thanks to Jake for the arm.

If you look closely, you'll see that they're completely destroyed. That right sole is half peeled away from the rest of the shoe, they're riddled with holes, and it's a miracle that the original laces are still in any useful condition.

When I first began pounding the pavement on the South Side after work or whenever the hell I felt like it, I found that the best shoes I could wear were these elderly Chucks. I'd been given them sometime during college and rarely wore them; but as I began to enjoy the Pittsburgh nightlife, I kept preferring these over my Reeboks for some reason. Somehow, the Chucks were far more comfortable for the bar crawling I was doing, and when it comes to hitting the hipster bars, they looked about right (even though Stuff Hipsters Hate claims that Chucks are out. I disagree). 

But it didn't end there. These shoes have been to two or three states and picked up mud on numerous railfan trips. Parties and family gatherings saw them out; and I'm certain that a lot of beer, liquor, barbeque sauce and pipe tobacco ash have pelted and rained upon them while I wore them almost everywhere I went. They didn't make it to Puerto Rico as I was worried about wearing them through airport security and didn't quite have space in my suitcase for them. And they've only been worn to work once, when I had a day off and had forgotten something in my locker. 

Sadly, though, they began to take on the epically beaten appearance you see on them in the photo I've posted. That right sole began to peel so badly it was folding over and dragging when I walked. They had hit a level of lifetime mileage that would finally put them out of service. 

Fortunately, I received a replacement pair for my birthday recently; this pair is red, rather than the original pair's black with red lining. And they're a little bit different from their predecessors, but in the long run I don't mind that at all. (I wanted green but that's another story.)

Should I bury them or give them a Viking funeral?

Found In The Wreck With His Hand On The Throttle

I'm posting a photo of a preserved steam locomotive. You may find this photo unusual, as I myself do. 

Southern Pacific 0-6-0 shifter 1294 was retired in 1957 and displayed in the San Francisco Zoo playground as a monument to the bygone era of railroad steam traction. Apparently, however, the salty air of the Bay accelerated the locomotive's deterioration and forced the zoo to remove the locomotive. In 1987 she was cut up. 

The locomotive was pretty popular on the playground, however, because it was essentially a standard-gauge jungle gym. Yes, kids were allowed - and apparently encouraged - to climb all over 1294, as you can clearly see from Alan McFaden's 1969 photograph. 

Photo by Alan McFaden, found on steamlocomotive.com

I do not think this was a good idea.

Could someone tell that kid standing on the stack to get the hell down before he falls off? He's at least twelve feet off of the ground right there. If he survived this day, he's probably in his sixties now; but he's still making me nervous. 

Am I already a cranky old man?