My Mazerati Does 185, I Lost My License And Now I Don't Drive

I hope everyone had a good Christmas holiday! This was one of my better ones. I got a Ferrari LaFerrari and a McLaren P1.

That's a bit misleading. They're built out of Legos. But still! They're neat little models, for minifig-scale supercars. Lego has a new theme called Speed Champions (which the Ferrari and McLaren belong to) that's actually pretty nice. All the cars are real, and very good likenesses for the size and using preexisting Lego pieces. I learned about it by stopping into a Toys 'R Us with my sister's friends one day; they had the Ford Mustang GT, and I liked the look of it enough to say hell with it and pick it up. I've built the LaFerrari already and it was a pretty clever build.

But while building it, I noticed something interesting on the back of the second (yes, there's enough steps involded that the LaFerrari needs two booklets) manual. Look at the lineup of the three cars - middle row, right side.

Ha ha! All the engine blocks are the same size! Get it? GET IT!?

They are, from left to right, the Lego versions of the Porsche 918, the McLaren P1, and the Ferrari LaFerrari. Hmmm... Where have I seen such a lineup before?

Oh. Right. 

Yes, Clarkson, May, and Hammond were working on an epic shootout between these three incredible cars on the Top Gear track, but as Ferrari and McLaren were coming around to the idea, Clarkson was booted and May and Hammond elected to follow. As they have a new show of their own on Amazon TV called The Grand Tour, I'm told they managed to organize the competition in their first episode. Still haven't seen it, or have any idea which car won. Even so... 

There's Digital Snow On The Frozen Pianos

Merry Christmas, everybody.

Flying Machines In Pieces On The Ground

Maybe I'm just being mean, but there's something I find endlessly amusing about this warning label I saw at work.

Right in the face!

Just as good is this one from my friend Mike. It's out of a power plant he did some contractor work at. At which he did some contractor work. 

Sproing, motherfucker!

She Spread Her Wings, And Then She Was Gone

Various times and places. 

I've no idea what possessed me to assemble this collection. 

Some Girls They Like Fried Green Tomatoes

Really? Fifteen years ago Kings' food was good. Not great, but good. Five years ago, it was kind of mediocre. These days it roils my stomach, and it all has the same aftertaste, which tastes like failure. I have no idea why my grandfather likes the place so much.

But this?

This is a new low. Is Kings' marketing department just whatever second-grade class is nearest? Is this an April Fools' prank that got lost in the shuffle until now? Why, oh why, does the placard say "Money Back Guaranteed" at the bottom? What a terrible restaurant. 

Running Blue, Going So Fast, What'll I Do?

I had a stroke of luck on Sunday. While my grandfather and I were at breakfast that morning, I checked the Heritage Units website to see if anything interesting was in the area. It turned out that we'd missed the Interstate unit while we were eating; but the site also revealed that the Conrail unit was on its way west at the point of an intermodal train!

Before anything else, I happened to catch this intermodal train eastbound.

The trailing units were of note; a shiny, freshly rebuilt SD60E and an uncommon standard-cab C44-9. The standard-cab Dash-9s will likely be getting rare soon, as Norfolk Southern will use them as the basis for DC-to-AC rebuilds, including new wide cabs. I also made a couple new friends - Phil (pictured) and Victoria. They live downtown. I'm a bit jealous.

Then a couple of autorack trains came by.

Strangely, my best shot of this one was a going-away shot.

I actually ended up waiting about an hour and a half for the Conrail unit to arrive, and here she is! I'd seen her previously with NKP 765 and the Pennsy unit on that horseshoe curve excursion a few years back, but seeing her on the road and on the point was a perfect catch.

I don't know why, but seeing the Heritage units start to get a little weathered, a little dusty makes seeing them more interesting. And after all, NS didn't buy them just for show - they're stock locomotives just like their more drab cousins and NS is gonna work them just as hard! 

Platform Ticket, Restless Diesels, Goodbye Windows

I received something in my Christmas stocking this past holiday that threw me for a bit of a loop. It's this train pull-back toy.

The reason I did a double-take when I saw it was its uncanny - and as we will see, surprisingly accurate - resemblance to an EMD SDP35. For a cheap kids' toy, it's a most irregular choice of subject. I say this chiefly because the SDP35 was not widely produced; intended to replace older passenger locomotives and still run as a freight unit if necessary, it only sold 35 units during 1964 and '65. Meanwhile, the standard SD35 sold 360 units in a similar timeframe. (The successive SDP40 and SDP45 models only sold 20 and 18 each, respectively; the 34 'SDP45s' sold to Erie Lackawanna were without steam generators, in order to equip a larger fuel tank than the standard SD45.) Union Pacific ordered ten; finding them inadequate for passenger train service, they used them for freight until their retirement and kept their fleet of EMD E8 passenger locomotives in use until all passenger services were assumed by Amtrak in 1971.

George Elwood

I mention UP's locomotives because this toy is painted reminiscent of UP's color scheme. While logos, lettering and numbering are all a work of fiction, the gray top portion and yellow body are correct, even to the red stripe that separates them (it should, however, be a single stripe, not the paired one on the toy). And 'Power Pacific'? They got it three-quarters right, actually! I count 'Power' for partial credit since Union Pacific was once the buyer of many imposingly massive and powerful locomotives, both steam and diesel.

But better yet is how closely this toy actually matches the real SDP35. Starting with the wheels, it has the early Flexicoil 'C' trucks, and heavy braking option (with one cylinder for each axle on each side - correct for the UP units); while the nose and cab aren't perfect, they are identifiably EMD designs; the traction motor blower duct and hood bulge, as well as the bulge in the steam generator compartment at rear are all present on the fireman's side; and the air intakes, dynamic brake blister at the top center of the hood, radiator shutters and vents for the steam generator at the top rear are all correct as well. The only real glaring error I can see is the radiator fans. The prototype had two larger fans with one smaller fan between them; this has three large fans like the SD40 was built with. The two dynamic brake fans are correct.

Of course, only a complete nerd like me would even notice, but I do find it very interesting that such an obscure prototype was picked for such a relatively unimportant-seeming kid's toy. I know I've seen more than a few based on EMD's much more widely produced F-unit locomotives, which makes more sense - with over 7000 of all F-unit models built, they were a much more common sight on the American railroad scene well into the 1980's. The SDP35 is all but extinct by comparison.

Am I The Only One In The Only World?

The grass is always greener on the other side of the DMZ.

Does The Karate Kid count as a kung-fu movie?

There was that time Jesus told a dumb joke, and it was soter-rible. (It's ok. The Buddah got it.)

A pickpocket's worst fear is a ticklish person. 

You're so lazy you don't even make sense!

Where's that sandbar? I could go for a dry martini.

Cable network WGN should change its callsign to WTR. I mean, all they ever show is Walker, Texas Ranger.*

Ask a question, get a stupid answer.

Why doesn't Sheetz sell schwarma? It would fit in just fine!

I'm unable to decide whether I deserve to be exiled to a monastery or a nude beach.

* That is, when they're not showing the Jason Bourne movies. 

And If You Complain Once More, You'll Meet An Army Of Me

Ok, so sometime last year, I started getting into Björk. And even though I haven't yet picked up a copy of her 1997 album Homogenic, I did read George Starostin's review. What he thinks the album sounds like isn't important right now. No, I'm more concerned with the art. 

What.

Yeah, I have no idea. According to Wikipedia, the cover was designed by one Alexander McQueen, and he obviously was on some very 90's drugs. Björk describes the look she was going for as "a warrior who had to fight not with weapons, but with love." I will take that statement at face value (ba-dum-tish), thank you very much. 

But there was something else that I had gnawing at me when I saw the cover. It seemed (oh no) familiar somehow. And then it hit me like a 110-lb. lightsaber. 

These aren't the Star Wars movies you're looking for. Try 1977.

No less than two years later, the bodacious Natalie Portman would dress Björk-style for Star Wars: The Phantom Menace. The similarities are very interesting; one wonders if this was all a late-90's thing. It wasn't something I'd picked up on. The obvious question here is, was Queen Amidala's getup inspired, at least in part, by the Homogenic album cover? Google doesn't seem to have an answer for me, but I do kind of wonder. 

If It's A Warrior You Want Or Utopian Lifeguard, Let's Talk Inside

I Am A Scientist, I Seek To Understand Me, All Of My Impurities And Evils Yet Unknown

GBV! GBV! GBV! Dayton, OH's own indie and lo-fi rock demigods Guided By Voices have racked up quite an impressive tally of albums thanks to lead singer Robert Pollard's inability not to write songs; and the two albums that put them on the map in a big way were the '94 Bee Thousand and '95 Alien Lanes. I really don't think they had any finer documents of their sound besides these two albums - at least until the vaunted original lineup reunited in 2011.

This is where it began for so many music fans and for me as well. Bee Thousand got the band noticed, by an order of magnitude greater than the previous albums Propeller (1991) and Vampire On Titus (1993) had. The lineup isn't quite represented in a solidified form, as some of the tracks are home recordings made years earlier. Really, the group largely worked like a collective before this album, with informal meets to rock out in various members' basements and garages; whoever showed up to play got a chance. The usual suspects are all here: Robert Pollard on vocals and some guitar; Tobin Sprout on vocals, guitar, bass guitar, and piano; Mitch Mitchell on guitar; Greg Demos on bass guitar; and Kevin Fennel on drums. Others, who came and went on the early recordings are Robert's brother Jim Pollard, and also Dan Toohey on bass guitar; Don Thrasher on drums, and Randy Campbell on backing vocals. Funny thing - this album almost didn't get made since Pollard considered breaking up the band after Propeller's middling success; and the disc had several proposed track listings which variously included about 30 additional tracks that largely didn't see the light of day until the 10th anniversary 'Director's Cut' version of the album. The version I own is the recent Scat Records re-pressing of the original track listing, in a very nice gatefold. So how should I try to explain one of the greatest indie rock albums of all time to my readers? Dunno, but I'll attempt to anyway!

What I Liked:

First of all, you have to understand what the lo-fi aesthetic means to certain people. For those making records this way, often it means that the record gets made at all. Others have found that the sound has a certain, unique character. One of the early GBV records (Sandbox, I think) was in fact done clean and polished in a proper studio, and Pollard found the sound far too sterile for his tastes. By comparison, Bee Thousand has a sort of earthy, pleasantly janky honesty to it's weird echoes, unavoidable bits of feedback and distortion, and occasional glitches (e.g. the guitar dropping out on 'Hardcore UFOs'). But all by itself, this vintage home-movie aesthetic wouldn't be enough to lift this record to the prominent position it holds in my collection. Robert Pollard has such a knack for penning wildly out-there lyrics that seem to be an enigma yet to be comprehended or layers to be peeled away (as opposed to a Dylan-esque word salad). He doubles down by pairing that with truly fine power pop (often like The Who or possibly The Rolling Stones; but with a fair amount of post-British Invasion garage and psychedelia blended in) melodies and killer power riffs - e.g. 'Hardcore UFOs', 'Gold Star For Robot Boy'. This is balanced with Tobin Sprout's contributions of more gentle, intimate acoustic-driven tracks with hints of Lennon/McCartney-esque lyrics ('Awful Bliss', Ester's Day). While it's a very garage-rock sounding record, in the end it's the emotional resonance that makes this record work. It's a difficult mood to describe, but the feeling of a complete flight of fancy takes root in a lot of the tracks. It's somehow a very daydreamy, or uplifting record at times! Some of the tracks paint vivid pictures ('Peep-Hole', 'Hot Freaks') while others just beg to be given a meaning or be deciphered (the majority, but especially 'Tractor Rape Chain' and 'The Goldheart Mountaintop Queen Directory'). Even so, king on this record is possibly Pollard's greatest achievement, 'I Am A Scientist'. With echoey guitars, a riff that exudes memorability and coolness, and a delightfully enigmatic set of lyrics that I've always felt to be the definitive statement on the complexity of the human condition. A glowing description, I know; but seriously, just listen to it already and tell me I'm not on to something. When so much of this album is so intriguing and nothing short of a treat for the ears, singling out best songs seems rather unnecessary. 

What I Didn't Like:

There's so little, but in a few spots, anarchy seems a bit dominant; see 'A Big Fan Of The Pigpen', 'Her Psychology Today', and the slide whistle (or something) that disrupts 'Demons Are Real'. Besides that, things that would detract from the sound for almost any other band manage to add to the charm of this disc, as I described above. It's very counterintuitive.

In Conclusion:

Look, it's high on lists of great albums for a reason. The title of this post uses lyrics from 'I Am A Scientist' because I couldn't think of anything more fitting. It's a fantastic listen, and unless you end up with more than one GBV album in your possession, you'll never hear anything like it. Everyone, and I mean everyone, should hear this once. 

One year later, GBV found themselves in a contract with Matador Records for the follow-up to Bee Thousand. With the lineup consisting primarily of Pollard, Sprout, and Fennel, and partially of Demos, Mitchell, Toohey, Jim Pollard, Larry Keller, Gary Phillips and (future rock critic) Jim Greer, the band (such as it was!) delivered Alien Lanes, a more consistent record with a little bit more to chew on - both in length and depth of ideas. Greer would report in his GBV biography that the advance Matador gave the band was close to the six-figure mark, while the cost to actually record Alien Lanes was about ten bucks (beer doesn't count). So how does $99,990 worth of PBR sound What do I think of it? Read on! For reference, this is the Matador 20th anniversary release, and I suspect it may now be out of print.

What I Liked:
Still utilizing the same weatherbeaten sound, GBV puts out a record with more consistency, and Robert Pollard brings his songwriting to a more mature and complex level with this album - as far as iI know, none of these recordings are rescued from ten-year-old tapes; Alien Lanes was the first major GBV album to be recorded in one go. And I mean that literally - most of GBV's tracks are first or second takes. One of the advantages of this approach is that earnest undercurrent that much of their best material possesses. Moving from Bee Thousand to Alien Lanes, the boys bring out a blend of harder rock and far more jangly power pop that's unmistakable. It's probably best exemplified by 'Motor Away', the hard-rocking super-upbeat linchpin of the album; immediately preceding is 'Auditorium', which presents a nice lead-in and the change between the two is delightful mood whiplash. 'Blimps Go 90', 'Closer You Are', 'A Good Flying Bird' and probably 'Little Whirl' are some of the most pleasant pop gems I've ever heard - perhaps a bit fluffy, but decidedly nice. The epic 'King And Caroline' and loomingly martial 'Striped White Jets' provide some depth and danger. Meanwhile, 'Game Of Pricks' and 'My Valuable Hunting Knife' hits some of the relatability and vulnerability of 'I Am A Scientist' on the last disc. Pollard begins to assemble a real collection of mature and insightful lyrics. Opener 'A Salty Salute' and closing quasi-instrumental 'Alright' make nice bookends for the experience with very similar sounds (and the former being a legit tribute to the drunks of the world!). It's certainly the equal of Bee Thousand, and taking the two together is probably the best introduction to GBV possible.

What I Didn't Like:
'They're Not Witches' and "Chicken Blows' don't sound finished (always a danger with GBV) and 'The Ugly Vision' (how apt) sounds too slow for this disc. And the two real shorties, 'Hit' and 'Gold Hick' are both rather bizarre, even thought they're listenable. Oh, and whoever slept through 'Ex-Supermodel' should drink more coffee.

In Conclusion:
A second fantastic album from the Dayton boys and a most worthy follow-up to Bee Thousand. If you're going to listen to one, there's no reason not to hear the other. What more can I say about Alien Lanes that I haven't already said about Bee Thousand?

Turns People Into Clay, Radiation Minds Decay

So I've been looking for an apartment lately. Not with much seriousness, as I'm not exactly well-employed enough to merit finally moving out, but I'm trying to keep my eye on the field and see what's available for what price. To that end, I picked up one of those rental guide magazines they give away for free at the grocery store. Naturally, most of them turned out to be amenity-laden high-end properties that I will not likely afford anytime soon. Even so, one of them stood out to me. Can you spot the reason?

Note: I've removed their contact info being that this is not a commercial blog, it's just for my own fun. It shouldn't be hard to Google them if you're really interested in living there. Except Cranberry is kinda lame, to be honest.

So didja find it yet?

No?

Hint: look under the amenities section.

Yep, you read that right. 

I Felt The Pressure In A TV Way

I have what I consider to be a major quirk. I have this irritating craving to hear the ending of every story I run across on television. And I don't like it.

Eat your heart out, Ned's Atomic Dustbin. 

Here's why: most of what I bumble into, on the sliding scale of depressing to clever, tends to sit on the depressing side (e.g. Law & Order SVU, the various CSIs, Blue Bloods and NCIS are interesting but occasionally go there) and I just can't take much of that without it affecting me. It's really best if I avoid it altogether. It's like vodka in a plastic bottle. You know there's nothing good there, it's not going to leave you feeling any better; but, y'know, it sure is an EXPERIENCE. Yeah. (Spoiler Alert: it's not gluten free either.)

Somehow I've noticed that television is a bigger culprit than movies. Something about the neat one-hour format is both somewhat predictable and simply too neat and tidy for me. Movies (if not edited for time, content and formatted to fit your TV) tend to leave such things more flexible. It might be due to this fact that the scraps of the Jason Bourne movies I've seen seem comparatively more interesting despite only seeing bits on WGN here and there. With a TV show, I can tell if Grissom or Gibbs or 21st-Century-Holmes-And-Watson-Played-By-The-Always-Attractive-Lucy-Liu really have the suspect cornered by looking at the clock. Movie? Fuck me, I lose track of time when I don't have commercials at regular intervals. And that's a good thing.

I wonder if the fact that there's more freedom to choose precisely what you want to watch when selecting a movie over plopping down for a TV episode that's effectively been selected for you makes any difference in how I feel about it. (I mean, for years we've all been told - yes, you too - abut what junk TV beams into our homes, and I tend to agree in general. The cadmium age of reality television pretty much codified that for me.) And that's actually another thing: I get tired of murder for after dinner every night. Murder in a movie doesn't bother me near so much. A good murder mystery movie - like one of my personal favorites, the 1974 Murder On The Orient Express - is a complete experience, something to set aside a serious chunk of time to enjoy, experience, and savor. What use is a meal without SOMETHING to chew on? There's always a loose thread, something that just gnaws at you. And sometimes that thread turns out to be a descending whip - a plot twist that breaks everything you thought you knew to be reliable and solid. Hitchcock knew. Every movie of his has something to make you want to see the next scene. Commercial breaks utterly spoil the flow of a theatrical movie; TV shows are made with them in mind. They are in effect pre-spoiled for your convenience (I love this turn of phrase. Sorry if I overuse it in real life).* I've always felt that having to work around commercials somehow makes the work compromised; kills the flow, forces shortcuts, makes it easy to slouch into routines defined by those very breaks and just become the dreaded phone-in that everyone loses interest in.

I think another thing that contributes is the need for closure. Since the beginning of time, humans have yearned to have their questions answered. How many people went off to war, or to find work, or whatever, and simply disappeared from the lives of their families, never to return? Not even with the grim uncertainty of being recorded as missing in action? No grave, not so much as a sliver of evidence they were there besides fallible memory? Sure, that may not have been the same relationship as it is today; but even so, any emotional connection would lead one to wonder just what happened. If a TV show can get just one hook into your reserve of emotional interest, of course it's going to drive you to find out. If a writer and an actor and a production team can distill an emotional connection with a face on a TV screen to a strength addictive enough that just ten seconds of NTSB-delivered presence can drag you in front of the screen by the feels and keep you there; there's obviously something inside you that's been prepared, over the course of human history, to respond, to follow along. It's a part of you, if you're not a sociopath (y'know, like the villains-of-the-weeks on Criminal Minds, especially).

Another thing is that with SO MUCH screen time devoted to finding the murderer within an hour(ish); you know, you just know that somewhere along the line, plots are going to be reused. Maybe not by the same shows, or even on the same network, but eventually, some writer is going to stumble on a used idea. A good writer should be able to use it in a unique way, or at least put their own unique stamp on it; but some core element is going to turn out to be suspiciously similar to one previously aired. At least South Park once pointed out that The Simpsons already did it all. Which, ironically, was kind of original, actually.

I think if less time were devoted to murder and ugly street crime (something many of us tune in to fiction for an escape from [and not counting alleged 'reality' TV, either, which is pretty ugly too]) I'd be more inclined to tune in; I actually miss Letterman, Leno, and Ferguson, for one thing (who'd a'thunk?). Sitcoms don't usually do much for me; Britcoms are preferable, actually. Original and interesting stand-up comedy may have died with Mitch Hedberg, unfortunately. And British sketch comedy is far better than what passes for the American variety these days - even old British sketch comedy. Canadian isn't too shabby, though. At least even Lost managed to contain enough of an element of mystery to keep people talking about it. Game Of Thrones? The Shanarra series now on (really?) MTV? I'll just take the original novels, thanks.

I know I've written some bite-size diatribes against television before; but that was typically in offense against some specific piece of televised waste. Not this time. I'm finally declaring to the world that I am officially done with broadcast and cable television. I just can't fucking tolerate it anymore. Paul Graham recently wrote that anything you find yourself saying that life is too short to contain, you should fucking jettison (paraphrased).

TV, consider yourself by-and-large jettisoned from my life. It was already too short for you once I stopped watching Shining Time Station and Walker, Texas Ranger. Politely fuck off.

* I should clarify that my dislike of commercials is not part of some diatribe against consumerism; rather it's because I find them personally irritating. Imagine if your TV suddenly got zits one day. I'm certainly no anti-capitalist; I just exult in the fact that the Information Age makes it possible to seek out the products one wants with far more... interactive interaction. Or maybe with more agency on the part of the customer. Something like that.

Never Ever Learned To Read Or Write So Well

So, we'll be able to look at the alleged business offices, but not actually visit them. AWESOME.

My City Had Been Pulled Down, Reduced To Parking Spaces

So you all know about the story behind the cover of Crosby, Stills & Nash's self-titled debut, right?

Oh.

Well, then I guess I'll tell you!

So, when it came time to pick the cover art for the group's self-titled debut, they hadn't yet finalized the name of the band. So they decided to get a jump on the art, and found a vacant house in West Hollywood outside of which a sofa had been left behind. So they plopped down for a seat to get the photo - Nash, Stills, and Crosby, from left to right.

As the album neared its release date, the group settled on 'Crosby, Stills & Nash' as the band's moniker; but realized that they were lined up backwards in the photo as a result! So they went back to retake the photograph, but when they arrived at the address, only a pile of lumber remained.

Also, I didn't know that Dallas Taylor, CS&N's drummer, wasn't there for the photograph, but was pasted in the back door window afterwards. Found that out at the CS&N (maybe Y, maybe not) website. I've always found the story an amusing piece of rock trivia.

But it's funny how history can repeat itself.

In 2004, The Black Keys used a vacant tire plant in their hometown of Akron as a studio to record their third album, Rubber Factory. The disc was enough of a success to break on to the Billboard album charts after release and increased their fanbase by an order of magnitude.

Seven years later, Pat and Dan were celebrating ten years of rocking together after some tough times; the smash-rock album El Camino debuted as a result in 2011, with the art reflecting their hometown and beginnings as a band. Thus the album itself featured the Chrysler and Ford vans they toured in very early on; and the singles had scenes from around Akron. The most curious of these was the single for 'Lonely Boy', which featured a bulldozer on a vacant lot, with rubble piled in the background.

Turns out that the band wanted a photo of the factory where Rubber Factory had been recorded, but it had been torn down not long before they arrived! Dan quipped in an interview in 2011 that "We keep stumbling into these profound artistic expressions. That's how we roll, though." Also, I was under the impression that the factory had appeared on the Rubber Factory sleeve, but I'm not sure what building it is, mainly because none appear to be suitable candidates. If someone could clear that little mystery up for me, I'd be grateful.

The Fireball We Rode Was Moving, But Now We Got A New Machine

Last weekend, at the Greenberg's Train Show in Monroeville, I picked up a new locomotive. It's an O scale, 3-rail prewar-appearance Pennsylvania Railroad K4s Pacific-type in brass, made by Williams. I won't say how much I picked it up for, but it's easily half of what it was sold for.

You see, it's an older model made in either the late '80s or early '90s, before O gauge trains began to receive high-quality electronic sound and digital control systems. It's not the most minutely detailed model either; but it's to scale, dimensionally accurate, and just plain looks good! Other operators might not be inclined to look too close (or assume it's messed up just by looking at the low price) as a result, but I couldn't pass up the opportunity. 

I've recently put together a video of some trains running on my grandfather's layout; and the last group of clips features this newest addition to the roster.

Now to find one with the postwar appearance!

It Took Me Years To Write, Will You Take A Look?

This is my all-time greatest reading list. If it's here, I recommend it.

The Hobbit, The Lord Of The Rings, and The Silmarillion, in that order and on occasional repeat - J. R. R. Tolkien

The Harry Potter series - J. K. Rowling

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo novels - Stieg Larsson

Patton: Ordeal And Triumph - Ladislas Farago

Two Treatises Of Civil Government - John Locke (important stuff)

The Fatal Conceit - Friedrich Hayek (more important stuff)

The DaVinci Code - Dan Brown

Any Terry Pratchett Discworld novel featuring the City Watch: Guards! Guards!, Men At Arms, Feet Of Clay, The Fifth Elephant, Night Watch, and Thud!

Robert Lynn Asprin's Myth Adventures series

Mossflower - Brian Jacques (the best of the Redwall series, IMHO)

The first four novels of Jasper Fforde's Thursday Next series (I don't recall reading beyond that)

V For Vendetta - Alan Moore and David Lloyd (if you don't mind a graphic novel [i.e. comics])

Watchmen - Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons (ditto [same])

Wasted All Too Much Time, Walking On The Wire, High Wire

Forget The Invitations, Floral Arrangements And Breadmakers

Last year, Toronto indie rockers Alvvays made their debut in a fantastic way with this self-titled effort. Thanks to the World Cafe on WYEP, I was introduced to this quintet of retro-jangly pop-rockers; vocalist/guitarist Molly Rankin, keyboardist Kerri MacLellan, guitarist Alec O'Hanley, bassist Brian Murphy, and drummer Phil MacIsaac. So how do they stack up? 

What I Liked:

Y'know, I keep writing these gushing reviews. One of these days, I really should listen to something that sucks. I mean, dang but if Alvvays' sound doesn't sound perfectly assembled! Molly's lead guitar and vocals mesh perfectly with Kerri's ivorys and Alec's rhythm guitar; Brian and Phil hold them together simply and subtly, but still solidly. I can't think of a moment where anything sounds out of place and I daresay the aesthetic is one of the best crafted I've ever heard - it's very, very jangly and late-60's pop sounding, like the sound of a bubblegum group that's grown up and matured after a decade or two. And those moods! It's such a delightfully plaintive record from start to finish (a little more on that later) and it's a wonderful sort of cathartic melancholy. Even songs meant to be happy-sounding have just that latent twinge of sadness, like a knowledge that it's all temporary. I don't know how to say it any better. And thanks to creative space management in the stereo mix, it's a pretty fun album for headphones. And those lyrics! Molly's vocals, largely unassisted, are so wistful and yes, plaintive (I love this word for this album), that I can't find a better metaphor for it all than (and I quote [myself]) 'beautiful heartbreak'. 'Adult Diversion' has that stalkerish spookiness; 'Archie, Marry Me' is the most wonderful heartache I've ever heard on vinyl; 'Ones Who Love You' and 'Red Planet' is superbly unrequited; 'Next Of Kin' is the poppiest I've ever heard tragedy sound; 'Party Police' is the sort of thing that closing time at the bar was made for; 'The Agency Group' is so delightfully mournful; 'Dives' is slight but memorable; 'Atop A Cake' is almost the anti-'Archie...' but has such a very similar emotional resonance that it's like they're two sides of the same coin. And one thing that really makes this album so interesting is the transitions between certain songs; it's almost like they went into the studio and did it in one take, largely without any break in sound. It's a nice reminder of the continuity of the disc. 

Best Songs: All of them?

What I Didn't Like:

My only serious complaint is that 'Red Planet' seems underproduced. It's just missing something, like the hook is underdeveloped or something. I dunno. Especially for the last track of the album. It's a go-out on a whimper rather than a bang. Even so, I can't think of another song on the album that could take that penultimate spot without leaving a hole in its current spot. Maybe one more track would have done it. 

An Observation: 

In this case, a literal one. 

Molly Rankin, you're adorable.

I made sure to see Alvvays at the Pittsburgh Arts Festival last year on WYEP Day. I came away very impressed with them live; and is it just me, or is lead singer Molly Rankin a delightful little blonde Canadian elf? Seriously, she's cool. 

And a wonderful time was had by all. 

And a wonderful time was had b-hey! That's MY line!

...actually, I do have one observation I'd like to make, something that I don't quite understand. When Alvvays came to WYEP to do a Live & Direct session, Molly explained 'Archie, Marry Me' as being "pro-young-love but not pro-marriage", which doesn't make sense to me. Primarily because there's nothing in the song that seems to indicate such a thing. I swear, that statement threatens to subvert the song. 

In Conclusion:

Although I disagree with NME's assertion that it's a soundtrack for a summer romance, I am in love with the perfect sound and mood of this band! It's such a fantasically jangly and melancholy record that I can't help but be sucked right in, never to return to the world of the non-Alvvays. Please listen to this and understand why I am so obsessed with this band!

I am no stranger to modern unironic rock demigods The Black Keys, but their latest release, Turn Blue, was a little, well, stranger than I expected. Did guitarist Dan Auerbach, drummer Patrick Carney, and some other dudes brought in for the session keep to their arena-rockin' new sound from El Camino? Not... really. I'll explain. 

What I Liked:

This album is a vivid departure from the boys' usual blues-rock sound. Turn Blue reminds me a LOT of Pink Floyd between Syd Barrett's departure and Dark Side Of The Moon. They've gone very spooky here. This is smoky 70's nightclub music with a fearsomely enveloping dark side. My personal favorite has become the soaring, near-psychedelic 'Bullet In The Brain'. I think it's the finest example of this record's strengths. A killer riff with the soaring psych guitar line, a surprise shift into a faster-paced tack than the intro predicts, and a tense (almost suspenseful) bass. The songwriting is great, and the super dark mood is largely unavoidable all over the record. 'Weight Of Love', 'Turn Blue', and '10 Lovers' all have a great slow, Motown-soul sound; while 'Fever' is surprisingly danceable with its frantic riff, and so is 'It's Up To You Now' with its boogie beat. The multi-paced, piano-driven (also some organ - on the solo, especially) 'In Our Prime' is great melancholy, as well. The only real anomaly is the closing 'Gotta Get Away', which has a power blues-rock riff pulled straight from the Akron boys' last record, El Camino; the track is easily one of the most fun in the Keys' discography, being so Midwest-roadtrip sunny. It's a real shift in gears for the capstone of the whole experience. 

Best Songs: 'Bullet In The Brain', but you already knew that; 'Fever', 'Turn Blue', 'Gotta Get Away', and as a real dark horse I'd say 'In Our Prime'. 

What I Didn't Like:

I dunno, despite how great this album is, a few tracks just aren't unique enough to be completely memorable to me. In particular, I have trouble remembering 'In Time', 'Year In Review', and 'Waiting On Words' if they're not playing. The caveat being that they're good songs, but they just don't have the same kind of hook or energy that 'Bullet In The Brain' or 'Fever' do. And as far as energy goes, it tends to be the more energetic (or powerful, e.g. 'Weight Of Love' or 'Turn Blue') songs that are the more memorable.

In Conclusion:

In my opinion, Dan and Pat haven't made any serious missteps yet (aside from letting Brothers drag on a bit; but that's just hipster me showing my alleged pop bias) and I say that Turn Blue comes as a full success. It's a great change of style, and yet as surprising as it was when it came out, it makes so much sense after repeated listens. A must listen!

Let's go back to 1973, and spin an album regarded a classic. Deep Purple's immediate followup to the epic Machine Head was the gold-selling album Who Do We Think We Are!, which made it to number 15 on the US charts and featured the hit single 'Woman From Tokyo'. This album was also the last to feature the 'Mk. 2' lineup; with Ian Gillian on vocals, legendary guitarist Ritchie Blackmore, bassist Roger Glover, keyboardist Jon Lord and drummer Ian Paice. I mean, at this point, we've all heard 'Woman From Tokyo', being one of the band's signature songs, but how does the full disc stack up?

What I Liked:

I recall that the Eastern Roman empress Theodora once said that "The purple makes the noblest shroud.". Well, replace shroud with album, noblest with epic, and The with Deep, and you've definitely got a good idea of what's great about WDWTWA! as much as any of Deep Purple's classic albums. This is the band at a real musical peak! It's mainly a showcase for the talents of Blackmore and Lord - guitar and keyboard drive this album in equal measure, and both musicians show off their capabilities in classic form. The crowning achievement here is 'Woman From Tokyo', no two ways about it. A big rock anthem for the ages, the track might be the greatest display of what made Deep Purple a true rock tour de force.The meaty riff, the teasing build of the intro, the spacey bridge, and even the wordplay-filled allusions to Japan - how could this not be a huge hit? 'Super Trooper's phased vocals make it pretty cool, and the driving 'Smooth Dancer' is pretty fun too. 'Rat Bat Blue' has a super fun boogie-feeling riff; surely it must have been as fun to play as it is to listen! It's actually pretty danceable, too! A fantastic deep cut from the Purple's discography, even if the solo gets a bit crazy. And 'Our Lady' is an epic cut, awesomely bombastic (which is how I always thought an album should end) and with some neat keyboard work from Jonny Boy. 

What I Didn't Like:

Remember when I complained about 'Eat The Rich' by British Lions? I feel the same way about 'Mary Long', except it's got the major star power and it just doesn't help! It's actually wearisome to listen to. Musical tirades are still tirades. Bonus points for some clever and witty turns of phrase, but they're not enough to save it. 'Place In Line' starts off kinda metallic-sludgy; it does nothing for me until the big change - which is pretty peppy blues-rock in comparison! If it were the other way around, or if the metal sludge beginning had been dropped or played like the second part, it might be different. 

An Observation: 

A bonus is to be found on gatefold editions; the newspaper clippings of reports about the band and some of their shows actually makes for an interesting read! One is simply the headline '[Deep] Purple Devastate Edinburgh'. 'Nuff said. Also, for some reason, my copy has the track (mis?)spelled 'Woman From Tokayo' on the sleeve. Huh?

In Conclusion:

May I never be separated from Deep Purple. Despite being the penultimate album of what is arguably their creative pinnacle, Who Do We Think We Are shows no sign of the changes that were to come; I can only imagine that they came as a surprise to the fans. If they had stuck to this sound, and not changed the lineup, maybe rock history might be different. But even so, this is a great album despite a few minor blights, and one I'm glad to have in my collection.